Tuesday, May 31, 2005

WORDS OF WISDOM

If your husband is darting around the house maniacally trying in vain to swat a fly at 11:00pm at night, do not get in his way. Remove any living, breathing entities, such as plants, animals or children from his path.

If said husband then grabs the Windex, and starts swearing in his mad attempt to both spray and swat the truculent fly at the same time; RUN FOR COVER!

Friday, May 27, 2005

VIAGRA

I heard on the radio today that Pfizer Corp has had to put a warning on their Viagra bottles..."May cause blindness in rare cases." According to the news on line, at this point Pfizer is only considering putting the warning on the bottles, as some loss of vision has been experienced by a few men.

Guess the old saying is true..."Don't touch that or you'll go blind!"

Friday, May 20, 2005

ODD KITCHEN GADGETS

To help Tammi of Tammi's World, I am enlisting all of my readers. Please supply a brief response as to the strangest kitchen gadgets that you own. I don't care if you love the gizmos and couldn't live without them or if you have never gotten around to using them.

Tammi is desperately in need of a "12 step program" as she has a horrible "kitchen addiction". She refuses to believe Teresa of Technicalities and I when we have tried to convince her of her problem. So I plan on helping her out but comparing everything she has in her tiny kitchen (or boxed up), and your entries.

Please share your comments!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

RECURRING NIGHTMARES

I’m sorry I haven'’t posted lately. I'’ve suffered from a barrage of nightmares every night. So evil that they torment even my waking hours!

First these movers come in the house with box upon box upon box. Endless mounds of cardboard are surrounding me in the cold arctic frozen tundra of Tammi's World.

Tammi complains that it's SO cold in the house with the doors constantly being opened. The movers say that it's a good thing that her little dog has fur. Tammi remarks that that's fine for HIM, but she shaves.

The movers leave in a hurry.

I am left to try and shift all the boxes into some semblance of order. All I can see amidst the cardboard are candles, kitchen gadgets, and romance books.

Hour upon hour, I try to make headway, only to be left with countless more cartons. Finally they come crashing in on me and I lie there covered in dirt, soot, and blood.

Tammi finally finds me and tries to clean off the grime with...what else... a mushroom scrubber.

Its not pretty folks.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

TURD IN A PUNCH BOWL

Beloved family member Sissy of And What Next nominated me for this disgusting meme. Nope, sorry, not passing this through or on or over or under or....

Turd in a punch bowl
Who could ever conceive it?
Must have been a troll.


Turd in a punch bowl
What an evil horrid meme
-
More nasty than Skoal.


Turd in a punch bowl “
"Yum! Yum!"” says the dog!

It’s a tootsie roll!



A VIEW FROM TAMMI'S WORLD

Tammi of "Tammi's World" has moved. Yes, I know you realize her blog has moved, but literally, SHE has moved. She is now in the blissful confines of northern IL. She has been living in her humble abode for one week...with nothing.

Yes, I mean nothing but the 4 walls surrounding her, oh, and her ironing board, of course. Don't ask me. I think she read the rough copy of the original Hitchhikers Guide, before they changed the ironing board to a towel.

She called tonight to let me know how excited she was because all of her stuff in the moving truck should be arriving tomorrow. She will actually have a bed to sleep in...or to do whatever in.

She should have her computer set up tomorrow (cross your fingers), and she will be able to regale you all with her tales of moving and a new job.

But for now, I will leave you with this from Tammi...She was traveling for her job and happened through my neck of the woods. She couldn't resist calling to tell me (or at least the answering machine.) She started with (and I quote), "Only in WI, when its 42 degrees will you see the mailman out in shorts!" (Well, at least she got the '42 is the answer' part right from the Hitchhikers Guide.)

I think she is the first person who has made me laugh out loud from the answering machine!

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

SPIFFY STIFFY

I bet no one else has what WI has....

Driving around town today, I noticed a young female tooling around in one of those mini-cars (probably a 3 cylinder). It was white in color. As my eyes wandered to the personalized license plates, I had to gasp in surprise! READY???

STIFFY

I bet no one else can boast such a 'unique' license plate cruising around their town! I'm just glad it wasn't a guy driving the vehicle!

Spiffy, we've got a "STIFFY"!






Sunday, May 08, 2005

TONGUE TWISTER TIME

Tongue twister for the week...

No one knows when one needs a gnome!

HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY

AWESOME! Go see it!

The special effects are great. The beginning and end of the movie follow the book quite well. (The movie does deviate in the middle, but is still pretty humorous.)

One gets a definite feel of "Monty Python's Flying Circus" in the way the 'guide' is explained to the audience.

Zaphod is excellent! Arthur and Trillian do a commendable job also.

The only things I didn't like were the depiction of Arthur (the robot), Slartibartfast was not nearly old enough, and doorways did not talk to the people.

If you stick around long enough through the credits, you will see a tiny ending splice from the movie.

Don't panic, but....GO! GO! GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, May 01, 2005

WOLF PARK I - THE COLD DAY

After a 3½ hour drive, Beloved Husband and I arrived at "Wolf Park" in IN. This has been one of the favorite hang outs for Blake of Laughing Wolf for the last few years. He has blogged about it often and gotten brilliant pictures of the critters. While some people have also gotten humorous pictures of him!

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We started out watching the morning clean up. It was a very cold, windy day. I believe the temperature was in the 30s, and who knows what that wind chill was. Here is Harvey, freezing, but still determined to "make nice" with one of the yearlings.

On the positive side, the cold snap did make the wolves very frisky.

The female (human) is "Gale". She was our co-tour guide, along with Blake. She gave us an insider's tour of the wolves. Not quite face to face with the wild wolves, but as close as it gets.

She did let us go in the foxes cage. At one point, "Baz" (Basil), the friendliest red fox (although white in color) climbed up on my shoulders and jumped to a landing directly above me. This provided a very interesting photo shot.

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Gale is an immensly intelligent woman, who provided us with so much information. She majored in zoology in college and has a whole world of skeltons in her closet. Literally.

We saw skeletons of wolves, foxes, bats, mice, and more. It was so very interesting and we can't thank her more for the special attention she gave us.

Blake, the wonderful host he was, gave us a tour of the area, and paid for our lunch at a wonderful Thai restaurant. We did a drive-by of where he worked and stopped at a park with a memorial to the "Battle of TippeCanoe".



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After lunch, we returned to Wolf Park for "Howl Night". This was fun and we got to start the wolves howling. However, it was VERY cold! Blake was nice and brought us a warm blanket, but there was still a definite chill in the air.

Later dinner, which you can read about at Bad Example - especially the fried crack. Finally, we parted ways with Blake, who left us a little late anniversary present.

WOLF PARK II - THE HOT NIGHT

Taking Blake's advice, we got a room at Lee's Inn. We booked a nice jacuzzi suite. (Truthfully, this is all that got me through the Howl Night portion of the evening, as I just kept a mantra going in my head 'nice, HOT jacuzzi...nice, HOT jacuzzi...') Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed Howl Night, but that wind...brrrr!

We got back to the room, filled up the hot tub, and popped the champagne. After basking in the heat of the jacuzzi and the champagne, we climbed out to see what Blake had left for us. It had occurred to me that he had promised me a whip in a previous email, but I wasn't sure if he would follow through or if a gnome was going to poke its head out of the box. Well, I'm not sure if I would consider our gift a 'whip',



but it sure makes a good husband beater!

Harvey enjoyed his beating immensly, and fell asleep exhausted (NSFW). While I went back to luxuriate in the jacuzzi some more - and finish off the champagne!

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